Speaking of Father’s Day, this will be first without my stepfather, Mike Pierce. I have been thinking a lot about him lately. Recently, there have been instances when I wish I were able to call him, to ask him for advice, to show him his grandchild and how big he has grown. I miss Mike, and I wish that he was here. We had some really good times together when I was growing up. However, we also had our hard times. Mike made a lot of mistakes in raising his step children, and many of them led to fractured and unstable relationships. Sometimes, I think about this, and I ask myself what mistakes have I as a father made in raising Luca? What ways have I failed him? I wonder if I am a good father? Sometimes, I even ponder if I even know what a “good father" is? I mean I did not really have a stable father figure in my life growing up. As I mentioned earlier, my relationship with Mike was complicated. My biological father lived three hours away and so that relationship was also complicated. Thus, how do I even know what it means to be a “good father?” There are many times when I do not feel like I am. There are many times when I struggle and feel overwhelmed, and honestly a lot of times I feel this way on Sundays. As I am writing this, I just got back from worship. It is May 17th, the Seventh Sunday of Easter. It was a tough day at certain times. When I got to Jerusalem for my second service, Luca was tired and crying. He just kept saying “Daddy, I want to go home,” and I feel bad because it has been a long day for him. However, then I feel bad because I am embarrassed because I cannot keep him calm or keep him still. All he wants is me. Thus, in instances like these, I feel like a bad parent, and at the same time I feel like a bad pastor.
However, today, I was reminded of what I can do in these moments when things get tough, when I do not know what to do or when I need help. The Gospel text for the Seventh Sunday of Easter is John 17:1-11. In this text, on the night before his crucifixion, Jesus prays to his heavenly Father, asking God to “glorify him so he may glorify the Father.” He proclaims that he has glorified the Father and has “given eternal life to all whom the father has given him.” “ And this is eternal life, that they may know the Father, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom he has sent.” Jesus then says “he has given the Father’s word to the people so that they may know the truth.” Then in ending his prayer, Jesus asks the Father to protect and unite the people, because “All mine are yours, and yours are mine, and I have been glorified in them”
And so, what can I learn from this passage? How can this passage help me in these moments to be a good father and a good pastor? Well, first when I am struggling, like Jesus, I can pray to my Father in Heaven. I can ask for help, and I can ask the Father to help me glorify him. Secondly, this text reminds me that I have been given eternal life so that I may know the Father and the Son. Thus, in these moments, I can know that I am not alone, but that God is present with me, and that this is what it looks like to be a good father. I am human and not perfect. As a father and as a pastor, I will make mistakes, but what I can do is show up and be present the best that I can. And on this Seventh Sunday of Easter, I believe that God the Father through the Holy Spirit helped me do this. I grabbed Luca, and we went to the baptismal font together and he helped me do the “Thanksgiving for Baptism.” We went to the chancel and bowed together at the altar before we prayed. We sang and played music together. That moment was holy and at the end I felt like I did my best. This text also reminded me that in these moments that God is not the only one with me, but that you all are with me also for we are united as one. There have been so many times that you all have stepped up to help, and I want to thank you all for that.
And so, I pray to God the Father, and I thank God for placing you all in my life. I thank God for being present in my life, especially when I am struggling. I thank God the Father for showing me and helping me to be the best father and pastor that I can. God is the best example of how to be a good father. And I pray that you all have a great June, great summer, and happy Father's Day. I pray that you all also feel the love of God the Father, and God’s presence in your life. May you feel peace and love, and may it lead you all to be present in the lives of all those who you meet. Amen.
Peace and Blessings, Pastor Ethan Doan